The Bloke in Seat 73, Row 9

It seems as if when designing the Emirates the Arsenal board though of everything. New bigger seats, super fast beer delivery, a fantastic view from eveyr seat and our own personal commentator.

What do you mean you didn't get your own personal commentator? While he might not be official every section of the stadium has one, yeah that's right he's that bloke who feels compeled to talk for the whole game. However I have a complaint, it seems that these talk all match types are the most negative and often unknowledgeable fans in the stadium. My own personal one sits (rather conviniently or not) just behind me in Row 9 seat 73.

It's a common trait of the unoffical commentator that they are able to contradict themselves in a single breath, a great pass leaves the foot to become sloppy half a breath later as does,'what's he shooting from there for' becomes 'what a brilliant goal, he's always had a good shot on him'.

On the positive side we tend to score when they go to the toilet, as we did agasint wigan as mouth and trousers informed us all he was off for a slash and wouldn't return, you could hear the collective sigh as far away as row 12. But of course he was back no doubt with damp trousers as I'm sure he must have been half way through when the goal went in.

Still it seems the Arsenal board have come up trumps again, Arsene must have informed the squad that we need to be losing till as late as possible, then once the unoffical commentators have left the stadium we bang in two late goals sans commentory. It seems the only thing left to do is install a steward in the loo on the look out for chaps commentating on the piss he's taking just to delay that winning goal a few more minutes.